Christian Bible: Unfit for Children

Christian Bible: Unfit for Children

HOLY BIBLE
Contains morals and views as accepted and venerated by Jews, Christians and the generally feeble minded.

 

WARNING: This is a work of fiction. Do NOT take literally.

CONTENT ADVISORY: Contains verses descriptive or advocating suicide, incest, bestiality, sadomasochism, sexual activity in a violent context, murder, morbid violence, use of drugs or alcohol, homosexuality, voyeurism, revenge, undermining of authority figures, lawlessness, and human rights violations and atrocities.

EXPOSURE WARNING: Exposure to contents for extended periods of time or during formative years in children may cause delusions, hallucinations, decreased cognitive and objective reasoning abilities, and, in extreme cases, pathological disorders, hatred, bigotry, and violence including, but not limited to fanaticism, murder, and genocide.

Lyrics: “It Ain’t Necessarily So,” as sung by Normie Rowe:

It ain’t necessarily so
It ain’t necessarily so
The things that you’re liable
To read in the bible
Ain’t necessarily so

Moses was found in a stream
Moses was found in a stream
Saved from the water
By Old Feral’s daughter
Moses was found in a stream

Jonah, he lived in a whale
Well, Jonah, he lived in a whale
He made his home in
That vicious abdomen
Jonah, he lived in a whale

It ain’t necessarily so
It ain’t necessarily so
The things that your preacher
Is liable to teach you
Ain’t necessarily so

David was small but oh my
Well, David was small but oh my
He fought with Goliath
Who lay down and dieth
David was small but oh my

It ain’t necessarily so
It ain’t necessarily so
The things that your preacher
Is liable to teach you
Ain’t necessarily so

It ain’t necessarily so
It ain’t necessarily so
The things that you’re liable
To read in the bible
Ain’t necessarily so
Ain’t necessarily so
Ain’t necessarily so

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