Messages

What did the kiwi say to the Jew?
Hebrew (hey bro)

What does WIFE stand for?
Washing, ironing, *ing etc.

Why did stewart diver go back to thredbo?
To see his flat mates.

What's the difference between and egg and a wank?
You cant beat a wank

What do u call an aboriginie in a freezer?
Stiff *

What do u call an aboriginie running through a rainforest?
Chocolate moove.

Why did the kid fall off the swing?
because he had no arms

What do you do when you see a spastic in a bathtub having a fit?
Throw in the washing.

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Q. Why did the Leb die?
A. He was fully sick Maaate!!!!!!

Q. What do you call a Leb in the middle of the ocean, drowning, screaming for help?
A. FUKIM

Q. What do you call a Leb on a bike?
A. Ali Davidson

Q. What do u call a Leb on the moon?
A. Naser.

Q. What do you call 1 Leb on the moon?
A. A Problem

Q. Two Lebs on the moon?
A. A bigger problem

Q. Every Leb on the moon?
A. PROBLEM SOLVED

Q. What do you call a hot chick in Lebanon?
A. A tourist

Q. Who won the Lebanese beauty contest?
A. No one.

Q. What do you call three Lebs in the sauna?
A. Gorillas in the mist

Q. What do you call a Leb who has had an abortion?
A. CrimeStopper

Q. How many Lebs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. 10... 1 to screw it in and the other 9 to say sick
mate

Q. Why dont Lebs where underwear?
A. Cause Nike dont make them

Q. What do u call a Leb between 2 buildings?
A. Ali.

Q. What do you call a drunk Leb?
A. HAMED

Q. What do u call a really drunk Leb?
A. Mohamed.

Q. What do u call a really drunk Leb between 2 buildings?
A. Mohamed Ali

Q. Why did the Leb cross the road?
A. To bash the chicken

Q. Why did fifty Lebs cross the road?
A. Because the chicken was bashing the Leb

Q. What do u call a good looking Leb?
A. Asif.

Q. What do u call a Leb hairdresser?
A. Ali Barber.

Q. What do u call a baby Leb?
A. Kebab.

Q. How do u tell a baby Leb to shut up?
A. Shush Kebab.

Q. What do you call a Leb in a police line up?
A. Wasim
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BANKSTOWN HIGH SCHOOL
> >
> > CITY OF BANKSTOWN
> >
> > MATHEMATICS EXAM
> >
> > NAME ............................
> >
> > GANG ............................
> >
> > Time allowed 1 hour
> >
> >
> > 1. If Mohammed lowers his WRX 2 inches front and back and puts on stolen
> > 18-inch Zepter wheels, how many inches has he originally lost from the
> > stock suspension?
> >
> > 2. If Con needs 3 razors a day to stay clean shaved, how many razors will
> > he need before he goes to the gym at 8.00pm?
> >
> > 3. If Moustafa runs 10 km from the Police in Lakemba to Punchbowl then
> > steals a car and drives another 5 km to Bankstown, how many kilometres has
> > he travelled if he ends up hiding in Wiley Park?
> >
> > 4. Omar has 2 ounces of cocaine and he sells an "8 ball" to Hamil for
> > $320.00 and 2 grams to Akhmed for $85.00 per gram, what is the street
> > value of the balance of the cocaine if he doesn't cut it?
> >
> > 5. If Ahmed receives $200.00 per week disability allowance from Centrelink
> > and works for his brother as a builder and receives a further $400.00 per
> > week and then pays $10.00 per week for each of his 11 children for school,
> > how much money does he have left to buy a smashed Tarago from the auctions?
> >
> > 6. If the average spray can covers 22 square metres and the average letter
> > is 8 square centimetres, how many letters can a tagger spray with 3 cans of paint?
> >
> > 7. If Soula needs 25 mls of wax per day to get rid of her facial hair and
> > Soula is only 19 years old, how many mls will her mother need if she is
> > 47?
> >
> > 8. Mohamed has an AK-47 with 2 x 30 round clips. If he misses 6 out of 10
> > shots and shoots 13 times at each drive-by shooting, how many drive-by
> > shootings can he attend before he has to reload?
> >
> > 9. If Jim changes the oil in his Fish & Chips shop deep fryer every 18
> > months and this costs him $400.00, how often should he change the oil if
> > he wants to spend only $180.00 per annum on new oil?
> >
> > 10. If Abdo runs a Donor Kebab shop and works as a Taxi driver on weekends
> > and earns $1,200.00 per week, how much does Centrelink give him for his
> > job search allowance?
> >
> > 11. If Bankstown's ethnic community is increasing at a rate of 3.5% per
> > month, the overall population increasing at 2.1% per month, at what rate
> > are the Aussies leaving?
> >
> > 12. Nabil wants to cut his 8 ounces of heroin to make a 20% profit, how
> > many ounces of cut will he need?
> >
> > 13. Chang gets $200.00 for stealing a BMW, $150.00 for a Commodore and
> > $100.00 for a Falcon. If he has stolen two BMW's and three Falcons, how
> > many Commodores will he have to steal to make $1,800.00?
> >
> > 14. If Bilal gets a haircut and gets a number 2 on the sides and a number
> > 3 on top, then goes back 3 weeks later and gets a number 1 all round, how
> > much has his hair grown in 3 weeks? (Assume that his hair grows evenly at
> > a rate of 2 mm per day)
> >
> > 15. Quang is pimping for three girls. If the price is $75.00 for the
> > trick, how many tricks will each girl have to turn so that Quang can pay
> > for his $200 per day crack habit?
> >
> > 16. If Greg Smith hears the word "yullah" approximately 55 times per hour
> > in Bankstown Square, How many times will he hear the word "mate" in
> > Penrith Plaza, if Bankstown has a population of 85,000 and Penrith has a
> > population of 10,000?
> >
> > 17. If Luigi drives his family and cousins all in one car from Leichhardt
> > to Stanmore, how many round trips will he need to make if 40 of his
> > relatives need a lift and he can put 12 people in his Valiant at any one given time?
> >
> > 18. If Ahmed uses 1 kg of "bog" to fix his smashed car, how many cans of
> > spray paint will he need if Hardware House is selling them for $9.00 each
> > and each can has 85 mls and the ambient air temperature averages at 22.5
> > degrees Celsius?
> >
> > 19. Trinh is in prison for 6 years for murder. He received $10,000.00 for
> > the hit. His common law wife is spending $100.00 per month. How much money
> > will be left when he gets out of prison and how many years will he get for
> > killing the bitch that spent his money?
> >
> > 20. If Mario's dad has his top 3 buttons of his shirt open and reveals 1 x
> > golden cross and 2 other golden ornaments, and has approximately 17 sq cm
> > of hair coming from his chest with an average length of 2cm, what is the
> > probability that the ornaments will be visible from:
> >
> > a) 2 feet away ........%
> >
> > cool.gif 5 feet away ........%
> >
> > c) 100 feet away .....%
> >
> > 21. If Effie's mum sells her galaktoboureko for $2.00 per slice and she
> > wants to make an extra 10% profit on each slice, how many sheets of filo
> > pastry will she leave out if the filo pastry costs 62c a sheet and she
> > normally uses 17 sheets on each tray which she cuts into 16 slices?
> >
> > 22. Hamul has knocked up 6 girls in his gang. There are 27 girls in the
> > gang. What percentage of the girls in the gang has Hamul knocked up?
> >
> > 23. If George has $12,000.00 and buys 2 smashed cars from the auctions,
> > how much will it cost him to fix them if his friend from school Ahmed is a
> > panel beater and charges him Habib rates of $40.00 per hour?
> >
> > 24. If Layla has to move her eyes 50 degrees to the right when doing her
> > maths HSC exam to see Julie Wilson's answers, how many degrees will she
> > have to move her head if Michelle, Linda and Lisa are sitting 1 metre apart from Julie?
> >
> > > END OF EXAM

http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/world/rachel-dolezals-story-just-keeps-getting-more-complicated/story-fnjbobed-1227404709691

Just gets weirder and weirder this story!

http://www.adelaidenow.com.au/news/s...-1227403349914


AUSTRALIAN Federal Police and SA Police have obtained an arrest warrant for Adelaide-trained Islamic State doctor Tareq Kamleh after a court hearing closed to the public due to national security.

In a statement today, the South Australian Joint Counter Terrorism Team announced its application for Kamleh's arrest had been successful.

The warrant was been issued for charges of:

MEMBERSHIP of a terrorist organisation, contrary to Section 102.3 of the Federal Criminal Code Act (1995).

RECRUITING for a terrorist organisation, contrary to Section 102.4 of the same act.


ENTERING or remaining in a declared area, contrary to Section 119.2 of the act.

The offences carry maximum penalties of between three and 25 years' jail.

"As these matters are subject to ongoing investigation it would not be appropriate to comment further," the statement reads.

"Should Dr Kamleh return to Australia, this warrant authorises law enforcement to arrest him immediately."

The announcement follows an application made by AFP Detective Sergeant Simon Lalic in the Adelaide Magistrates Court today.

"We are applying for an arrest warrant but we will not be represented today," he told the court.

"This is an ongoing investigation and a matter of national security.

"We are requesting this be heard in a closed court."

The state's Chief Magistrate, Judge Elizabeth Bolton, then closed the court.

Less than 10 minutes later, Det-Sgt Lalic emerged from the court and declined to comment on the outcome of the arrest warrant application.

Kamleh, whose full name is Tareq Badawi Kamleh, now calls himself Abu Yousef Al-Australie.

He has been charged with knowingly recruiting a person to a terrorist organisation.

Court documents allege the offence occurred in Al-raqqa, Syria, on April 4 this year.

It is understood that is around the same time of Kamleh's appearance in the now-infamous Islamic State promotional video.

Kamleh made headlines in April this year when he appeared in the stylised IS propaganda video.

In it, he claims he travelled to the Islamic State stronghold of Al-raqqa from Australia to offer his medical services as part of his "jihad for Islam".

Kamleh began his career in Adelaide where he graduated with a Bachelor of Medicine and Bachelor of Surgery in 2010.

Well she is white, but there is something the matter with her you know. Like the same issues Gay people have, or the same kind of odd problem a sexual deviant may have having a fettish with senior citizens etc.

There is something not quite right with people like that. Why the hell would you want to be a filthy nigger , when you are of 1/2 Czech, 1/2 German linage?That is a delicious mix.

Because of her upbringing around black kids? Because the media makes it cool to be a nigger by having them on all the latest mainstream TV?

You ever seen http://www.wiggaz.com ?that is the bin where this idiot garbage belongs!

http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northe...-1227403534641

A 30-YEAR-OLD man has been charged for aggravated assault after he allegedly struck a 19-year-old woman in the face.

Superintendent Daniel Bacon said the man allegedly struck the 19-year-old employee when he was asked to leave a business on Paterson Street in Tennant Creek at about 8pm on Saturday June 13.

"Police allege the offender then stuck the 19-year-old employee to the face before fleeing the scene," Supt Bacon said.

The man was arrested on Wednesday and charged with unlawfully cause serious harm and aggravated assault.

He was remanded in custody and will appear in Alice Springs Magistrates Court on Thursday.


http://www.ntnews.com.au/news/northe...-1227403420554



(see original for pics of this Abbo)
A MAN facing multiple charges in the Northern Territory including break-and-enter, stealing and arson has lost a bid to have his name suppressed.

Ronald Kelly was arrested on Monday, three weeks after he allegedly broke into a Darwin home and stole six guns.

He is facing 29 charges including six counts of stealing, three counts of property damage, five counts of trespassing, four counts of unlawful entry, six driving offences including dangerous driving and driving while unlicensed, aggravated assault, and arson.



His lawyer argued there had been a high and unusual degree of media interest in his case, that reporting of the matter had been inaccurate and irrelevant, and that her client had been vilified on social media, with commentators calling him "scum" and saying "he should be shot".


Laura McDonough said Kelly was entitled to the presumption of innocence and that due to the attention a future jury could find it difficult to remain impartial.

She also said he had been unfairly linked to other high-profile crimes occurring over the same period in Darwin.

But prosecutor Ian Rowbottam told the Darwin Magistrates Court said that conducting the matter in public "is an essential part of Australian justice".

He said Ms McDonough was anticipating that contemporary reporting might prejudice possible future charges.



He said Kelly's own sisters created the publicity when they made pleas to the media for him to turn himself in to police after he escaped a five-hour siege and evaded capture for three weeks. He also said there was no evidence prejudicial information might be published in future, and that a judge could not control "the clamour of social media".


"He's not that famous," he said of Kelly.

Magistrate Elizabeth Morris agreed.

When balancing the principles of open justice against Kelly's right to a fair trial, she found that "the matter's risk is not such that it could not be cured if they did become an issue by a judge at a later date ... there's no actual prejudice ... so I decline to make an order." Kelly will next appear in court in August.