The JOG Wants My Shite

[Rev.Cambeul]

The title of this post is, the JOG wants my shite - and I'm not kidding.
Admin Note: Using "shite" because if the "e" is removed, shite turns to *.

Turning 50 years old in November, I received a package in my Post Office Box. The JOG wants me to take a crap, reach into the dunny and scoop out a tablespoon or so full, bag it and ship it off to them. The purpose: Looking for blood, looking for signs of cancer ... personally I think it's some dirty government sponsored faggot looking for love in all the wrong places.

Although, if it's not a shite eating faggot, and they're not telling the truth about it being solely a health service, what else could it be? Not being completely paranoid about everyone being out to get me (certain types of people are out to get all of us): Is the government collecting the DNA of everyone turning 50? Is there a massive data base of DNA ready to be accessed in the possibility of a criminal offence? For instance, what if my father's remains are found inside a shark? (It'd have to be a drunken shark after eating that alcoholic bastard.) My disowned daughter's DNA is found at the butchered remains of several niggers (she hates me and declares me to be a "Nazi", but she really hates niggers)? Or perhaps my mother leaves a drop of sweat when she finally euthenises her retarded neighbour with the Abo flag outside its house?

So, is it a shite eating faggot, DNA archiving or a genuine concern for my welfare? Your guess is as good as mine.

I threw the shite collection kit in the garbage. I just had an endoscopy - that's a camera down the throat into the gut - a few years ago.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dx3phGYGowc

Endoscopy with the Dot-Head Doctor

I know I'm getting old and getting grey, getting ripped off, underpaid. Getting spots, growing hair in new places and my voice is changing ... FFS I'm a recycled teenager! The thing is, where there's change, there's life.

However, I do not recommend anyone else - who has not recently had an endoscopy and/or a colonoscopy to turn down the government's kind offer of a health test - but personally, I'd rather avoid feeding a shite eating faggot, and I'd also rather keep my DNA off any government database.

The JOG may go to pieces, but my faeces shall remain my own personal business.

@Cailen.