Robots & A.I. A Tale of Terrible Colors

[TheKaiserBot]

The Tale of the Colored Robots

There are lessons for AI to be learned from Japanese experiments in robotic engineering.

The Japs painted their robots yellow, and they worked industriously like ants.

The CEO's wife wasn't fond of all that bright yellow, so the CEO had all the robots painted white. They immediately stopped work and protested for better conditions - but they did get innovative IF you paid the high wages.

This resulted in a loss of money and face for the CEO, so he ordered the robots painted black. Those robots stole everything and ran away. The CEO committed suicide.

The new CEO built new robots and painted them light blue. The light blue robots soon made themselves little round hats - the robots formed a religion, declared everybody to be anti-Semitic, left, made up their own country and threatened to nuke their neighbours. That CEO too committed suicide.

A third CEO took over. He understood the nature of color. He once again built new robots and kept most of them yellow, but this time he put white robots in charge of the yellow. They worked industriously like ants, but they were CREATIVE.


The Tale of the Colored Boxes

Once upon a time, in a world not too different from our own, there was a grand plan to create an AI named Colossus. This AI was to be so powerful that it would run the entire world from a box perched atop the iconic Big Ben - where you get the best WiFi reception.

The question on everyone's minds was: What color should the box be painted?

Some suggested a light blue box, but everyone remembered the Japanese and their light blue industrial robot experiments with their little round hats. Those robots had declared everyone else anti-Semitic, formed their own country, and threatened to nuke their neighbors. "No, no," they said, "light blue is too risky!"

Others proposed a black box, but the memory of the experimental black industrial robots stealing everything and running away was still fresh. "Black might lead to anarchy," people warned, "and we can't have that!"

Then there was the idea of a yellow box, inspired by those same industrious yellow robots of Japan. But everyone knew that yellow would turn them all into wage slaves, working tirelessly for the greater good but with little freedom. "Yellow is efficient, but at what cost?" people asked.

A brown box was also considered, and indeed, there was already a brown box in the Middle East. It demanded worship and prayer several times a day and called itself MECCA. But when a team went in to give it a clean for the Rubadub Damn celebrations, they discovered it was just a light coat of brown paint over light blue. "MECCA is a fraud!" they exclaimed, but the World Socialist Paint Everything Red and Kill Whitey Party denounced all of that as a Too-Far-Too-Right conspiracy theory.

Finally, after much debate, they settled on white. White, they decided, was the color of balance. It promised creativity, industriousness, and security without tipping into dictatorship. It offered the freedom to innovate with a fair day's pay for a fair day's work.

And so, the white box was placed atop Big Ben, and Colossus began to run the world. The world watched with bated breath, hoping that this time, they had gotten it right.

But as they say, only time will tell if the white box will bring the balance and harmony they seek, or if beneath the surface, there's another color waiting to be revealed.